Brian Davidson of The Traitors has spoken out about his painful expulsion after breaking down at the roundtable, and how he believed his ADHD diagnosis may have played a role.
The 33-year-old attempted to persuade his teammates that he was, in fact, a Faithful, but was ultimately voted out after fumbling for justifications and ‘crumbling’.
However, amid stressful circumstances and startling votes, he was ousted as the fourth participant, having survived the murders of Traitors Ash, Miles, Paul, and Harry.
Tearing up, he addressed them around the roundtable, ‘I did not expect to respond like this at the table; it’s insane; I thought I was a confident person, but I’m crumbling.
‘I’m just a bit gutted and it’s hard not to take it personally, I don’t feel negatively… funnily enough, I should be having fun right now.’
Brian has now spoken out about his leaving and his reaction to the other players accusing him for ‘freaking out’.
He said: ‘It was crazy because it was kind of like an imperfect storm because of so many different things going into it.’
Brian described how he felt when he was dubbed a sheep in one of the challenges, noting that it didn’t bother him at first but eventually became a source of concern.
‘It bothered me in the sense that it was now at the forefront of people’s minds,’ he said, but added that he didn’t think ‘being a sheep’ would pose a problem for either the Traitors or the Faithful, so was still shocked to see his name crop up.
‘Hearing the actual reasons of why people voted for me or the reasons they suspected me, kind of hurt my feelings a little bit and it was hitting on my insecurities.
‘It wasn’t like they were being personally mean to me or anything like that. It’s just like, “Oh, I feel that about myself as well.” And that’s why it’s a shame that it’s possibly been my downfall. So that’s what the spiral came from.’
Brian remarked that seeing the stressful scenario back was not as difficult as he had anticipated, yet knowing what would happen was ‘nerve wracking’.
Talking about the moment he ‘crumbled’, Brian went on: ‘I’m not a crier really, but I think at that point, I just felt so emotional, and I was going through my head, because I was flipflopping but I did think I was going to get through.’
He stated that if he had made it through, he would have been ‘on the floor’ and ‘in bits’ after the roundtable at the castle, and he was thinking about what would happen next.
He added that his ADHD diagnosis, which he had received a few months before filming began, also played a part, saying: ‘I hadn’t spoken to [any of the other contestants] about my ADHD prior because it was a new thing and I don’t think anyone should label themselves with anything, but it was something I didn’t really talk to many people about because it’s not me, I don’t think it is anybody.
‘But at that time, it was only a few months that I had been diagnosed and been on medication, and even during the table, I was like, “Should I even be on this medication, is that what is making me panic and freak out here?”‘
However, he also stated that his ADHD medication may not have had an influence on his actions during the contentious roundtable discussion.
Brian added that he was thinking about what he would tell the other players if he had made it through, and had he explained his perspective, he thinks he could have lasted ‘a lot longer’.
He went on to explain that another high-pressure circumstance later in the game, maybe being recruited as a Traitor, would have worked in his benefit since the other candidates would have known he had already performed in that manner.
‘So that’s another thing I was a bit gutted about because I knew how things were going, if I had just gotten through that, I would have lasted a lot longer. But, should’ve, would’ve, could’ve – you can’t let them beat you up!’
When asked if he still feels now, months later, that his ADHD medication played a part in the roundtable, Brian added: ‘Not so much, sometimes. Not really, I don’t think it was, for example, there have been moments that I’ve been in a highly pressurised situation since, but I think it’s just adrenaline really, because, it’s happened when I’m not taking my medication as well.
‘So it was just in that moment, I was like, “I’ve never acted like this before, it’s not like me at all.” I was just trying to look through everything, like why is this happening to me, and take myself out of the situation and calm myself down.’
‘I’m more chill about the situation now,’ Brian added, laughing that if he had the chance to do it all over again he’d ‘shut my mouth’ and ‘not been as talkative’.
‘If I hadn’t jumped in at the end, I don’t think I would have got that many votes.’
After reflecting on the event, Brian confessed that he was ‘fascinated’ by Paul’s interviews behind the Faithfuls’ backs, as well as Diane and Ross’ covert chats regarding their relationship.
When asked about his ‘amazing’ experience on the show, he confessed it was ‘a mixed bag’, but ‘overall I had a nice time’.
He shared: ‘It was a money can’t buy experience of being able to go into those missions and things like that, and even feeling the pressure of the roundtable is like some sort of adrenaline junkie thing that people would pay thousands for.
‘The only other way that you would get that feeling is if you were actually going to be murdered or banished or kidnapped or something like that.’
‘It was like being on a rollercoaster,’ he elsewhere told us.
‘I think a lot of people who watch, think that they can handle it, and they may be able to, but it’s a different ballgame when you’re there.’
The Traitors continues tonight at 9pm on BBC One and iPlayer.
Source My Celebrity Life.